SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS AND FORGIVENESS

We live in a time when your past (or anyone's) can come back to haunt you, perhaps more easily than in any past time.  The thing that has changed the most is not human behavior, but the all too common self-righteousness.

Infants are pretty much at the mercy of their parents.  Children are influenced by their peers.  Young people still struggle to fit in.  Hopefully some of us mature enough to realize there is more to the world than we had been taught.  Humans still want to think of themselves as good, as accepted by society, strive for domination and intimacy and want to survive whatever the world throws at us.

Governor Northam is not somebody I was very conscious of and can only speculate how his  inner thinking and feelings operate today.  To be a successful politician, requires a strong ego, strategic thinking and luck.  Luck that no one will uncover some of your almost forgotten youthful history.  We have all gotten away with something.  I am very conscious of some of my youthful failings--this is not a full confession, but most of you would be able to relate:  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2013/08/what-have-you-gotten-away-with.html

To get to where you are you made a number of mistakes.  Some of them you learned from and others you have been able to cover up, even forget.  One of the childish games most of us have played was to catch someone having done something stupid or forbidden.  At an early age we become conscious of avoiding or covering up embarrassing or punishable actions.  This is second nature to the vast majority of us.

We have set standards of behavior for different situations and all too often at least a few of our trespasses are unforgivable.   Many of us can be a bit critical.  When we have been caught, a few look for opportunities to criticize others, particularly our enemies.

I can only imagine the atmosphere Ralph Northam grew up in, but speculating that many of his elders and his peers had some form of racism.  We all do, but to some areas it is more blatant than others.  We like to think that medical students would be more educated and mature, but it is likely there are some that are provocative and even more likely that others don't want to rock the boat.  Virginia is not considered the Deep South, but is still a southern state.

An article I read, I think on CNN pointed out that some politicians that have advanced equality had a long history of racism.  The two most easily remembered are Abraham Lincoln and Lyndon Johnson.  One might argue that their past also formed their understanding and allowed them at a mature age to take a courageous stand.  Governor Northam's political record regarding respect for blacks (prior to his mishandling of this current scandal) has been relatively commendable.   I don't know what he would have done without this obstacle, but suspect he would be a supporter of equal rights.

Hypocrisy  runs deep in American politics.  When Newt Gingrich was among the leaders trying to impeach President Clinton he was in the midst of an adulterous affair.  Perhaps a more appropriate analogy might be Donald Trump with his many anti black words and deeds loves to catch Democrats in their hypocrisies.  I do realize I am indulging in "he did it too."  A Biblical saying is "he who is without sin should cast the first stone."

Forgiveness can be very difficult.  The most difficult cases deal with violence and humiliation.  Sometimes the "guilty" one is unrepentant.  The forgiveness not only allows one side to move forward, it also allows the innocent victim to also move forward and another bonus is that the rest of society can benefit.  I don't think Governor Northam needs to automatically resign, but he will be judged hopefully on how he goes forward.  Has he matured, has he learned, can he become a positive example?

The big question for all of us might be what have we learned from our past and how can we do better in the future?

Some earlier thoughts on some recent examples of quick judgments:  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2018/01/are-we-quick-to-judge.html 

Two Postscripts (about one hour later)

1.  After writing this, one fear is that just by suggesting Governor Ralph Northam might deserve forgiveness means some people will find it difficult to forgive me.  No matter what one expresses there is someone ready to condemn.   It seems likely that there are a number of people that can understand my argument. Most of them worry about what others will think of them.  I feel that as well.

2.  Many years ago when I was about in grade 6 two or three of us somehow got turned on by two movies about Al Jolson.  Rock was starting to shape our music interests, but we got sidetracked.  One of us bought some records which we all listened to.  Recently I re-saw the two movies and realized a few things.  I had had almost no contact with blacks at the time and it did strike me as strange that Al Jolson did a lot of performances in black face.  In the first of the movies they showed some scenes where Al joined some black musicians and wanted to adapt some of the music and moves--apparently this was the start of his rise to fame.  He was really impressed with their music and I understand was supportive of individual blacks, but it does boil down to cultural appropriation.  Another more recent example was Elvis Presley who made a lot of black music popular among whites.  I enjoyed Al Jolson and probably didn't notice that sometimes the blackface enhanced my enjoyment.  Jolson and Presley helped open up our culture, but each of them at one time must have wrestled with their conscience.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN AWAY WITH?

My self perception took a beating when many years ago I was re-tested for a driver's license after accumulating a certain number of demerit points.  Naturally it was unfair, at least in my mind.  The last speeding ticket had been in what I  considered a speed trap.  I started to verbalize my complaints to the testing officer who had heard it all before.  His response has haunted me ever since, "Think about all the times you didn't get caught!"

That shut me up.  Am I alone?  Haven't most of us gotten away with a lot of things that could have led to inconvenience or much worse? Include such things as speeding, talking/texting on a cell phone while driving, telling white lies (or worse), padding expenses, cutting corners, fudging details on a job or loan application, etc. etc.  In some cases you were lucky nobody was directly injured in one way or another or that you didn't get caught.

It is human nature to push the limits until you find out what they are, starting when you are born. Many of us go past the limits, but most are smart enough to find our limits before serious damage is done.  If you do something wrong (it could be accidental) and there are no negative consequences we have a tendency to repeat if the experience was positive.  A lot of petty thieves are caught because their earlier successes have emboldened them to push towards the limits.  Eventually you are likely to get caught.

At the same time humans tend to be self-righteous about someone who did get caught.  One of my favorite movies was "Angels with Dirty Faces" with James Cagney and Pat O'Brien.  As youngsters they both had done something that could get them in a lot of trouble, but Pat O'Brien ran a little faster. Unfortunately James Cagney was caught and sent to a reformatory where he became hardened.  The company he found in the reformatory educated him in the wrong way and when he got out he was treated as someone tainted, but with a tough guy reputation that impressionable youth admired.  In the meantime Pat O'Brien learned a lesson and reformed himself eventually becoming a priest.  The difference in character originally was very slight, but the end result was dramatically different.  The movie ending left a character lesson that was very brutal and stark.

This is not to say that you should accept every criminal or immoral act or even simple faults that cross your life, but that you should refrain from being self-righteous about it.  Forgiveness benefits not only the person forgiven, but also the forgiver.  I continue to repeat actions that have had no (or few) negative consequences, but recognize there is a limit for me.  Also there is a limit for you.

The photo is of me is while at the Auckland Museum in front of a Maori pole sticking out my tongue trying to look fierce as part of a haka, but in reality was a little dumb.

THE RIGHTEOUS MIND

Jonathan Haidt's guest appearance with Bill Moyer impressed me with his understanding of how people cling to their beliefs in the face of logic.  He even said that those dastardly conservatives have a legitimate viewpoint.  After the 8 days it took me to finish it seems the best book I have read this year.

In "The Righteous Mind" he builds his case carefully.  Jonathan has an interest in philosophy, psychology, morals, sociology and politics.  Like many observers he has been dismayed over how polarized politics has become in the United States.

Evolution plays a key role.  It is thought that every human trait is there for its survivability value.  Much thinking has focused on individuals, but increasingly it is realized that individuals survived who could fit into groups.  The first groups of people were essentially equal and were very careful to not let anyone slack off.  As groups got bigger it became possible to have a division of labour that made them more effective.  A more cohesive group could dominate lesser groups and survive difficult times more effectively.

One of the most important factors became religion.  The key was not so much the specific beliefs, but that members felt a sense of belonging that encouraged them to support other group members that were not close kin.  Some of Jonathan's thinking came from Emile Durkheim who was the founder of sociology which essentially deals with group social pressure.

A key definition which comes near the end of the book, after a lot of preliminary explanation is  "Moral systems are interlocking sets of values, virtues, norms, practices, identities, institutions, technologies and evolved psychological mechanisms that work together to suppress or regulate self-interest and make co-operative societies possible."  We don't always understand from what moral system other people operate from and we would benefit if we could really appreciate they really feel they are right.

Joanathan feels that three main segments of American politics; liberalism, conservatism, and libertarianism all have a role to play.  Too much conservative control and society doesn't make the necessary changes.  Too much liberalism and things can get out of hand.  It is healthy that each can balance with the others.  Compromise is more likely to come after each group realizes that the opposition is not totally wrong and in fact are a healthy check.

One area where conservatives and liberals see things differently is fairness.  From a liberal perspective they are well aware of disadvantaged groups and strive to remedy the inequalities.  From a conservative viewpoint they feel it is unfair that some people do the work and others take advantage of the rewards.  These two views can be reconciled better if each side realizes the other side does in fact have a strong sense of what is fair.  A different and compelling perspective at http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/06/fairness-and-freedom-book-review.html

It is hard to realize that my underlying moral philosophy might not be totally right and that other person might not be totally wrong.  Progress will occur as we respect each other.

On the link below you can connect with a website devoted to this book that includes videos and blog posts.

http://righteousmind.com/