David Brooks helps us to know a person

David Brooks has been a regular part of my schedule on the PBS Newshour.   He represented the conservative view although lately not so much.  He always came off as an intelligent man, but when this book was first mentioned it seemed out of character, but upon further reflection not really.   He does come off as a reflective man, thinking carefully before speaking.

 From the author, "Before a person is going to be willing to share personal stuff they have to know you respect their personal stuff".  As a reporter he soon realized questions were tools to finding out what a person really knows and feels.  

A childhood close friend committed suicide.  Confronted with depression he and others tried to cheer up his friend.  More important he realized later was to listen.

When responding to what a person said repeat what they said to be sure you understand.  Paraphrasing their words can often get closer to the truth.  Before replying it is often a good idea to give yourself time to get it right.  One gesture David suggested was to hold your hand out front.  

We all have an ongoing story.  Daniel Gilbert says "Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they are finished".  The strangers we meet all have interesting stories and many of them are willing to listen to yours.

It is natural to judge people from superficial information, but be slow to assume.  Everyone is part of a group, but not everyone is the same.  We have all been influenced by our "dead ancestors".  

The subtitle "The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen" reaches out to our human needs.  For many of us it is well worth the effort.

A lot of what I read reinforced what else I had read.  But learning of his personal experience and his study gave a fresh impression.  I have received a lot of good advice and wish I had followed more of  it better.  Check  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2019/12/an-antidote-to-chaos-series-of-rules.html

A few years ago at a Toastmasters meeting one speaker suggested you could read the New York Times Book Review and not bother to take the time to read the book.  You could appear very knowledgeable.  My intention with my blogs is not to summarize a book or a film, but acquaint any readers with some reasons why they might want to follow it up.  Not everyone would (or should), but I believe there is some wisdom or bit of enjoyment to be had if you are in the mood.   My belief is that if good ideas are allowed to percolate the world will be better off.

The Trolley

This blog started when the Korean series "Trolley" (2023) became available.  But one episode near the end so upset me that I thought of throwing all my investment of time away as I found it very difficult to accept one unexpected development.  Thinking on it further, it reflects a lot of society.

The trolley dilemma is shown as a cartoon enactment in each episode introduction and I confess I could not understand the connection, but it becomes clearer.  If you do nothing 5 people will die, but if you pull a switch only one, a different person will die.  And it is not just numbers, but actual people (or issues you care about).  One truth can hurt others.  There are many truths to be exposed and we might get to better understand how politics works and the dilemmas endured by imperfect people trying to make the world a better place.  Traditionally we think Asians have a stronger sense of shame and are more prone to suicide, but a sense of shame and proneness to suicide are among us all,

Suicide is an emotional topic and it seems likely it is viewed differently in other cultures.  At one time I had written a term paper on suicide for a sociology class.  Sociology owes its beginnings to a study by Emile Durkheim on suicide.  By this series there is a different perspective.  In a few cases a person is considered guilty for driving someone to suicide and this seems to dog one family.  There is an effort to require further investigation of a suicide even after the perceived perpetrator kills himself.  The sex assault accuser should not be assumed to be guilty of murder.

A national Assemblyman gets involved with revealing a sex crime and the alleged perpetrator commits suicide and he is blamed for it.  This calls attention and ironically other suicides are blamed on accusers.  The Assemblyman doesn't know that his own wife has been haunted by such an experience and fled her home town and changed her name to hide the fact.  The story gets more complicated involving politics and personal relationships.

 He wants to pass an amendment  regarding sex crimes for heavier punishment, but has to deal with political opposition and then with personal problems.  There is no solution that leaves everyone better off.

Recently Canadians have been shocked to learn a politician with a reputation of sobriety has resigned because of a sexual mistake.  His agenda will be taken over by others.  Whether this is a disaster, an opportunity for progress or a very slight variation on the status quo the future has been altered by a human weakness.  This series displays a moral dilemma where decisions that effect everyone are distracted by political power struggles and personal relations.

There is not a lot of information accessible on the cast and crew, but as one becomes more familiar with Korean dramas you are likely to come across their names and appreciate their talent.

Kim Moon Kyo is the director.  This is only the second series he been listed for.

This is only her fourth series that Ryu Bo-Ri.has written for.

 Kim Hyun-joo plays the Assemblyman's wife Kim Hye Ju, and carries the most range of any role.  She has 28 films under her belt and won 5 awards.

Hee-soon Park plays the Assemblyman  He has 43 film credits and won 3 acting awards.

Seo Jung-yeon plays a close friend, Seo Jung-yeon who operates a cafe.  She has 38 credits including "Live Up to your Name" (2017) which was an unusual favorite.  see http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2021/07/live-up-to-your-name.html

Mu-Yeol Kim plays a political operative, Mu-Yeol Kim who is protective of his boss, the Assemblyman.  He is calculating and at ties seems cold hearted.  He has 26 film credits to his name.

Kim Mi-Kyung  plays a politician, Woo Jin Seok who generally supports the Assemblyman.    She has been in 70 films including  "It is Okay Not to Be Okay" (2020), another of my favorites.  See http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2021/03/its-okay-not-to-be-okay.html

Jung Soo-Bin plays Kim Soo-Bin a girlfriend to the son who dies tragically.  She appears suspicious and sure enough it is awhile before we find  out the true story and it is a bit complicated.  This is only her third film credit.

This series is full of emotions, misunderstandings pointing to moral dilemmas for a few of the characters.  It doesn't really have a happy ending for any of them.  Much like life.  The acting is credible.  Korean culture underneath all the similarities is different, but both aspects are worth understanding better.

Surga Yang Tak Dirindukan (The Heaven None missed)

A part of the world lives very different from what most of us (us Westerners, that is) and if we want to understand them we need to be aware of some cultural differences.  These two films are from Indonesia.  There is a moral dilemma depicted that would not be encountered in our culture, but is of interest.   ACT QUICKLY! Netflix has a deadline of January 27th.    They likely will be picked by another streamer--possibly Disney.  

Pras, a young boy witnesses his mother's suicide, years later he meets Rini.   Both are religious and in love.  They marry, have a girl while he has a responsible, but challenging job as an architect.  Driving he encounters an accident.  A woman is near death and he decides to drive her to the hospital and sticks around to see how she is doing.  She gives birth and shortly we learn she is suicidal (abandoned by a lover).  She jumps off a roof, but he is there to catch her.  She pleads to die and this drives him to promise marriage and shortly they are.  Pras names the boy Akbar.

 

Did I mention he is a Muslim?  When he returns home he learns his father in law has died and in passing learns further more that he had a second wife which is a bit upsetting to some of the relatives.  He decides not to tell his wife about his second wife.  His wife expresses disgust that her father had married a second woman.  He sets up a second household and learns his new wife is not religious, but sets out to teach her about the religion.  It is just a matter of time before Rini discovers the second marriage and she is very upset and forces him out.  He is very conflicted, but it turns out his mother in law knew about her husband's second wife and counsels patience and forgiveness.  Eventually circumstances conspire and  Rini ends up advising  Mei how to deal with Akbar's illness.  Further she becomes concerned about her husband's second family and tries to set up a household for all five.  Not over, but there isn't much left

 Sequel:   Another accident, another woman, this one from Malaysia, but despite some initial misgivings there is no repeat.   Meanwhile Rini has written a book and been invited to Budapest.  We learn that  Rini is at stage 4 cancer and wants Mei to fill her space.  It turns out Mei is also in Hungary (partly to escape her guilt feelings).  She finally has found a worthy man, Rini's doctor, Dr. Syariet.  Pras has felt it would be most ethical to divorce Mei, but Rini doesn't want that feeling Mei is the most logical replacement--at the last moment Rini seems to have caught on to Mei's new interest--Mei at first berated the doctor for not doing everything possible as he explained she refused all this strategies

 Suicide is a very grave sin and two of the characters had seen a parent commit it and Mei had attempted it herself.  Pras felt obligated to do whatever he could to prevent it and then he felt the need to keep his word.

Forgiveness is an easy thing to talk about, but can be very difficult.  The key people are Rini and her  mother.  Her mother feels forgiveness helps heals wounds.

What makes a movie go smoothly is the cast and crew.

Asma Nadia, novelist who has had several of her novels adapted to movies.  Near as I can tell they all have a Muslim theme.  She has also acted in a few movies and even produced one film.

Alim Sudio has written all three scripts for this series and done acting as well <check other browser>

Kuntz Agus directed only the first in this series

Hunung Bramantyo directed the second segment as well as helped to write script.  Meisa Felaroze co-directed the last two segments.

Manoj Punjabi  the producer of all three themed films.  He is the founder of MD Pictures, the largest media software company in Indonesia and as such deals with Disney where several of his films are schedukled.  He produced "Habibi and Ainum" (2012) that hit the highest Indonesian audience to date about 4.7 million.  

Fedi Nuril plays the leading male in all three versions.

Laudy Cynthia Bella plays the leading lady in the first two films of the series

Raline Shah plays the second wife in the first two scripts.  She goes from a desperate suicide attempt to a respectful.  She was award nominated for for this role

Landung Simatupang played the mother of Arini who suffered her own indignity, but calmed down her daughter..

Reza Rahadian plays Dr. Syarief who cares for Rini in Hungary.  He appears in the second two films  Also in "Habibi & Ainum" playing the lead and won a national award) and also "Kartini:Princess of Java" (2017).  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2020/11/kartini-princess-of-java-feminist.html

At this point I am unsure how to see the final film, but suspect it might become available thru the Disney streaming.  There is already a moral dilemma lined up.  A reminder that time is running out for viewing on Netflix, January.

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman

 Good memories of "Bear Town" and having watched "A Man Called Ove" spurred me  to read the latest book of Fredrik Backman.  At first it seemed very frivolous and "arty."  As pages were turned it turned out to be layered.

A simple story (?) about a messed up bank robbery and an awkward hostage situation.  People meet one another and we discover connections gradually.  The past is always present and steers the future.  You may not be able to hold back a laugh or two. 

The narrative is rendered in different formats.  We think we have a rough idea where this is going and along the way we read some insights that we mostly would agree with, although we seldom give the matters much thought.   It takes awhile (unless you are more observant than me) to catch on to a deeper meaning.

A quote that needs to have context to be appreciated; "We plant an apple tree today, even if we know the world is going to be destroyed tomorrow...We save those we can."  It is worth reading the book including the acknowledgements to understand.

 The book is originally in Swedish and set in that country, but the humans are universal.  The references to Stockholmers can be substituted to your more familiar metaphors.

Normally acknowledgements are skipped or skimmed, but this book offers something unique and something that helps explain the book.  Another book, "Old Age A Beginners Guide"  with a unique acknowledgements:  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2017/03/old-age-beginners-guide.html

I have come to admire the author who was first suggested to me by Chris, a  local librarian.  I liked a movie based on Backman's book and found a co worker who enjoyed the book.  "Bear Town" was about a small hockey town with political and social dynamics, not particularly unusual, but well explained.

"Beartown" is another book well worth reading:  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2020/06/beartown.html

A blog on the movie "A Man Called Ove" might interest you as an English version will soon be available. http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2017/07/a-man-called-ove.html

AN UNEXPECTED CANADIAN FILM GEM

"The Grizzlies" (2018) was a most improbable film for me to be bothered with.  Sports films follow a formula that is easily predictable and the description seemed a bit hokey. A bunch of losers get together and somehow miraculously win the championship at the last minute.  This is not quite like that.  Except these are real losers who are unaware of how scary the outside world is, except they are also afraid of it.

Confession:  I watched it because I was curious to see Tantoo Cardinal whose name I had assumed was male, and then realized she had been in a number of movies I have seen, but hadn't identified her.  I am now embarrassed by my ignorance, but pleased to learn more about her and this particular movie.  See more below

Suicide starts the film and we learn the highest suicide rate in the world is right there in Nunavut.  As you get to know and identify with the some of the characters there are more suicides.  Along the way are abusive dysfunctional families, alcoholism and distrust of the whites.  One of the background songs was by Kelly Fraser who herself committed suicide

A young southern teacher comes to the isolated Arctic town of Kugluktuk basically as he couldn't get a job anywhere else and is naive particularly when it comes to the native culture all the way through the film.  They have had bad experiences with the white man and their broken promises.  Russ is reprimanded for raising hopes. He has a great love for lacrosse and takes out some of his frustration shooting a ball against an empty garbage bin.

Yes there is a resemblance to all those other sports formulas, but with a big difference.  The Inuit are humiliated on the playing field and finally decide that just one goal will do it and of course that does indeed occur at the end of the tournament.  It is the process that is key to enjoying the movie.

See an earlier blog about a lacrosse movie that includes a personal connection to lacrosse plus opinions regarding native involvement, etc.  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2014/04/crooked-arrows-brings-back-memories-of.html

Based on a true story.  At the end many of the characters are updated and it appears that the real benefit came from finding a different path.

A story worth telling, but who wants to sit through an amateur presentation.  This project attracted and recruited a crew and cast that hits home.

Producers are responsible for organizing the many elements.  Miranda de Pencier was one of the original drivers and became director as well as producer.  She had been an actress, producer, writer and director including some of the Anne of Green Gables series, "Street Legal" and one Inuit short, "Throat Song."  She also directed "The Grizzlies."

Others on the producing team included Alethea Arnaquq-Baril who grew up in Iqaluit and Stacey Aglok MacDonald who grew up in Kugluktuk and both of them had been involved with television shows in the Inuktitut language.  Another  was Vinay Virmani who has been an actor, writer and producer with "Breakaway" and "Dr Cabbie" that involved Bollywood actors.  Vinay offered free Raptor tickets for a draw for people who would send him photos of a ticket for "The Grizzlies."
There was a  Mentor system set up to boost technical expertise for Inuit television programs.

The story had to be reduced to a script and two experienced writers were involved.  Moira Walley-Beckett had been a producer and writer for "Breaking Bad."  Graham Yost, son of tv personality Elway Yost (who I used to watch at Saturday Night at the Movies) involved as producer and writer for such films  as "Speed," "From the Earth to the Moon" and "The Pacific."

Background music was provided by Garth Stevenson who had composed for "Chappaquiddick" and has provided instrumental music for many movies.  Many indigenous musicians were heard in the movie.

Cinematography  was provided by Jim Denault who had done "Trumbo," "What Men Want," and "Freedom Writers."  One theme was that in Nunavut you "can see for miles."

Ben Schnetzer played the naive, but conscientious Russ Sheppard.  There was concern that it would appear the poor natives needed a white man to set them straight. In an early scene he confronts a student who knocks him down and is not charged.   In reality the real Russ was naive and frustrated that he kept making cultural mistakes.  Lacrosse was for him something that helped him maintain his sanity.  Many whites had not only failed before him but made the situation worse.  Ben, was an American who when he decided he wanted to act headed to Britain where he was able to get a lead role in "Pride" a movie where gays and union workers got together to fight for worker rights.  He played a German Jewish fugitive in "The Book Thief."  Also appeared in "Snowden."

Will Sasso played Mike, a fellow teacher and coach.  Will has played mostly supporting roles since 1991.  He was part of a winning ensemble cast for "Inside Moves."  At the end credits was a note that in reality Mike did not drink as much as depicted.

Tantoo Cardinal, who inspired my viewing actually was an activist in young adult hood.  She is a Metis,  part Cree and part French who felt strongly natives were not properly portrayed in films.   She had appeared in "Dances with Wolves" (1990), "Black Robe," (1991),  'Legends of the Fall" (1994), "Smoke Signals" (1998) and "A Thief of Time," all of which I enjoyed.   Having started in 1975 she has contributed a lot to indigenous roles in a wide variety of movies.  She has been awarded Order of Canada.  In this movie she played a very stern principal who shot down almost all Russ's ideas and chastised him for raising hopes.  Not very glamorous, but needed for its realism.

Ricky Marty-Pahtaykan played a non student with a family that deeply mistrusted whites and the school system, but was lured into the lacrosse program (including mandatory school attendance) and helped bring in others. Later it was his parents who swayed the school board into co-operating.  Paul Nutariaq played Zach who was rebellious, but in the school system helped bring more participants.  Anna Lambe played the girlfriend of one classmate who committed suicide and later she designed team logo and put a discrete, artistic and symbolic forehead tattoo on herself.  When asked about what she wants, she ends up playing on the team.  Emerald MacDonald played an overweight, shy young girl who is the most studious in the class and later gets involved with the team as a valued administrator.  We learn she lives in an abusive family, but learns to stand up for herself.

The real Russell Sheppard actually stayed in Kugluktuk for seven years and later taught in other locations and eventually became a lawyer in Cranbrook, British Columbia.  He retained a strong interest n lacrosse.  He consulted with the crew and even took a cameo role as a referee.

Expecting a juvenile film I was jolted right from the start.  Thought I knew a bit about the Inuit situation, but came to realize I don't.  Well worth watching.

Dying of Whiteness

When some outsiders look at Americans who apparently vote against their economic self interest we can only think it is pathetic.  Dr Metzl feels they also vote against their own health.  The big question is why?

One predominant reason might be racism and Dr Metzl thought that would be worth exploring.  His strategy to understand better was to concentrate on the states of Missouri, Tennessee and Kansas focusing on gun control, health care and education.

Missouri had relatively restricted gun rules, but since the 1990's the rules had been loosened and by 2014 there were state constitutional amendments to further entrenched rights.  By 2016 Missouri eliminated requirements for training, education, background checks needed to carry concealed  weapons.  By 2014 gun homicides exceeded motor vehicle deaths.

There are federal laws to  limit research on gun use, but using available resources he discovered he could learn useful stats with guns used for suicide.   One of my proudest achievements in university was an essay on suicide commemorating the origins of sociology by Emile Durkheim.  Dr Metzl also uses suicide statistics to analyze.

Dr Metzl took part in some suicide grief support groups while in Missouri.  None of the mostly white people felt guns were the problem even though they were the most common method to kill oneself.  Mental illness was the likely culprit in their opinion and the rest of us needed to watch for indications of depression.  Harvard Public Health research suggested that gun suicide represents "an irreversible solution to what is often a passing crisis."  From 2009 to 2015, non Hispanic white men accounted for nearly 80% of all gun suicides in the United States despite representing less than 35% of the population.

Guns are associated with (white) privilege.  After the Civil War the Ku Klux Klan  took firearms from blacks.  Before 2000 most guns were cited for hunting, but by 2017 67% claimed the motivation for ownership was for protection.  The NRA has long been campaigning guns are needed for protection.  The irony is lost on many gun advocates that guns result in increased accidental and suicidal deaths.  Further protection is a bit illusionary.

For awhile the nation focused on the police shooting an unarmed black man in Ferguson, Missouri.  As background to that tragedy it was learned that budget cuts for Ferguson necessitated that the police force play a role in revenue generation.  This resulted in less concern for protection while increasing hostility.

Dr Metzl took his studies of the effects of the Affordable Care Act to Tennessee where he now lives and works.   African Americans generally support the ACA as they recognize it would be helpful for everyone.  Dr Metzl learned that some whites opposed the ACA (more popularity known as Obamacare) even if it would boost their own health as it would also help minorities or immigrants.  They were willing to jeopardize their own health.  Some resented the fiscal costs while neglecting the cost to their own health.

Others resented the mandate requiring those not buying insurance to pay a tax penalty.  The author points out that this provided herd protection in that the more people participating the less chance for many diseases to spread.

Southern states resisted hospital integration and resented the government forcing them to mix with blacks.  Statistics showed that Obamacare was less liked that the Affordable Care Act.  Many people felt that they should be responsible for their own health care and that those who couldn't, shouldn't be able to abuse a socialized system.  The unfairness of disease and accidents didn't strike many that they could also suffer.  Quoting the author,  "Costs... functioned as a metaphor for concerns about a system that gravely threatened the sense of individualism underpinning particular white notion of health."  As it is, much of the medical expenses of Southerners would be covered by taxes of Northerners.

Dr Metzl moved his research over to Kansas to study how an extreme conservative government effected education.  Kansas at one time had an envied education reputation, but under Sam Brownback taxes were cut under the assumption that business would be attracted and make up the difference in revenue.   Over 200,000 had their income tax eliminated (allowing many to lower their taxes by claiming a business).  Individual had taxes reduced from 6.4% to 3.9%.  Businesses didn't start up or expand enough, so that budgets were cut.  In 2015 regressive cigarette taxes were increased and some deductions used by the poor were cut.

Budgets were cut including education.  Larger class sizes and at one point instruction days reduced.  Early childhood education was cut.  Sex education was another victim of budget cuts as well as for ideological factors.   These moves hurt everyone.  Booker T. Washington is quoted, "You can't hold a man down without staying down with him."  Drop out rates increased and graduation rates declined for all groups except for black females that stayed the same.

Kris Korbach, the Kansas secretary of state was anti-Muslim and practiced voter suppression.  He went onto to help the Trump administration for a brief while.

Malcom X is quoted, "Education is our passport to the future for tomorrow belongs only to those who prepare for it today." 

There are many factors that influence legislation.  The wealthy have always had more access to power, but realize in a democracy it is critical to appeal to the masses.  A key way of doing that has been through prejudice.  One theme is that blacks are the ones that whites need protection from.  From an earlier blog here is Lyndon Johnson, "If you can convince the lowest of white men he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket."

What to do about racism?  Contact seems essential, but is it enough?  Whites, no matter rich or poor  have cultivated a feeling of superiority towards blacks  It is also true that human interests overlap and hence we are always (at least most of us) are open to borrowing what we like when we can.  Some examples include jazz, Mexican food, Arabic numbers,  

That some Europeans came to love jazz (and later rock n roll) didn't instantly make blacks more acceptable, but it did put the toe in the door.  When Jackie Robinson broke a barrier in major league baseball he eventually opened up the door for others to follow as whites wanted to win.  It is true that jazz musicians and baseball players were considered exceptions, but gradually other blacks are respected for more that just their skills.

Anti discrimination laws and racial quotas can help, but they also risk resentment.   In addition to using "sticks" we need to find more ways to use "carrots" perhaps as awarding desirable behavior and offering incentives for integration efforts.  A key platform is education, both to encourage more contact, but also in curriculum.  Too many of us are ignorant about the "other." even though we are all connected.

It is easy to be self righteous but in fact we are all guilty:  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2019/07/racism-we-are-all-guilty.html

I highly recommend this book as this puny blog post only attempted to hi-lite a few points.  It helps explain why some people vote against their own economic and health interests and has his own set os suggestions.  You can also check out Dr Metzl's website for more insights, https://www.jonathanmetzl.com