An Antidote to Chaos: A series of rules from my experience

Another rules book!  Most if not all humans lack discipline to just do the right thing without some guidance.  Perhaps I am just projecting, but I feel the same way.  Maybe this one will be easier to follow and guide me to happiness.  OR remind me of some habits that may have waned or even give me some new idea to hook on to.

My life has been like others--a search to find the right path to success, happiness and a sense of purpose.  It has been a struggle, but there has been lots of advice requiring some discipline and overcoming temptations.  Many books have influenced me, even causing me to modify my behaviour, but so have many other books and experiences.

The 10 Commandments were given at a young age.  No particular complaint, but they seemed a series of things not to do.

Dale Carnegie did make a difference.  I read the books, but with the encouragement of my father took the course.The course was designed in a sequence that helped build up self confidence.  Learning how to memorize names not only was useful, but motivating.  For lesson 5, I thought I had an unfair advantage in that we were requested to bring some newspapers and at the time I worked for a newspaper and fancied myself clever at improvising.  However I was wrong.  It had nothing to do with reading the paper, but rather used the paper as a tool to unleash our inhibitions.  It turned out to be a big breakthrough for me, allowing me to feel more comfortable speaking to a crowd.  I had read the two main books, "How to Make Friends and Influence People," and "How to Stop worrying and Start Living" with lots of good ideas.  One fairly new concept for me was the importance of listening.

I didn't want to take the course, even having read the books lying around my home.  My father would refer to it in positive tones.  I felt that my father was a poor example of what the course could do, but I came to appreciate a new concept.  It is not how good you are at the end, but how much better you became.  My father was aware of his shortcomings.  Read about my father and the course:
http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/06/remembering-my-father.html

Ben Franklin was brought to my attention through different means, but I think Dale Carnegie might have been the first.  It was very simple.  When confronted with a difficult decision one should write down a list of the reasons for and the reasons against and weigh them, not just with quantity, but also with quality.  Many years later I read another book that didn't dismiss the notion, but suggested it was inadequate.  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2016/08/decisions-are-path-to-success.html.---counter argument-

At a sales meeting I was shown a video about Alan Lakein,  "How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life"  Bought the book, underlined dozens of passage and years later gave it away to someone who I thought needed it.  Quite a bit penetrated my thinking with the key concept that time is the essence of life.  It is better to be early.  Every minute is important, but concedes that rest is crucial.  A way to set goals is to decide what you would most want to do if you had a short time to live and then work backwards to start prioritizing tasks that move you towards your goal.



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A few years later my daughter Heather's gifted me  "The Time Paradox." that had a different perspective.  Most time management books focus on setting goals and planning the future.  The suggestion of this book was that you should not focus on your failures, but on your successes--the ones that build your confidence and remind you how to overcome difficulties.

Time management became an obsession of mine, particularly as I had chosen a series of sales positions, although only moderately successful.  I learned from many many mistakes and failings, but also did have successes and worked to multiply them. http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2011/05/time-management-for-sales-other-people.html

Often as a parent I felt inadequate. I stumbled on a book by Dr Wayne Dyer (raising children),  The original motive was to know how to train my kids to be better.  His method was to model whatever behaviour you desired, but that meant a lot of effort.  But it did give a different focus.  Wayne had good ideas for how one might steer their children to turn out and most were agreeable.  Because I wanted my children to be better than myself I was forced to consider how to make myself better.  Some of the chapter headings:  "I want my children to value themselves," "I want my children to be risk takers,"I want my children to fulfill their higher needs."




Stephen R. Covey did impact me.  I read the book, multi times and listened to his tapes for literally hundreds of hours (my daughter memorized much of it as I drove her to swim practice).  I actually set up goals and plans as best I could handle his ideas.  They were all good.  My favourite was you must seek first to understand before seeking to be understood.
http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/07/stephen-r-covey-pointed-way.html





A modern set of rules was brought to my attention by my sister Jennifer, "get your SH*T together."  A lot of books serve to remind me of things I had slacked off a bit and primarily this accomplished that, but in a different style.  One point she made was that fear of uncomfortable conversations delays resolution giving a personal awkward example as to how she overcame bullima.   There was one slight apparent contrast to my favorite Stephen R. Covey which is covered in my post:  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2018/03/get-your-sht-together.html


With "Twelve Rules For Life: An Antidote to Chaos" Jordan Peterson views life as chaos overcome by order.  Oversimplified as he sees some merit in chaos.  There is a lot of suffering in life no matter our circumstances.  We can be happy and successful, but it works best if we pay heed to his 12 rules.

Remembered Jordan Peterson as a guest with Steve Paikin offering a psychological perspective and always seemed to make sense.  Jordan is a psycho analyst who recounts some of his experiences with patients in a non invasive manner while giving some perspectives on psychoanalysis.

What sets this book apart from the others is that the goal is not so much happiness and success, but a deeper meaning to life.  A quote, "If we each live properly, we will collectively flourish."

Some of his rules are humorously expressed, but supported by both psychological and philosophical ideas are familiar. There are differences and he gives a few different perspectives.

To get an accurate feeling for his rules you need to read the whole book.  Here I am interested to glean something interesting and maybe useful.  His rules are backed up by well presented arguments.

One rule (#5) is  "Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them."  He believes that if a child is not taught to behave properly before age 4 they are doomed to have difficulties to make friends.  At that age socialization is mainly through peers.  You need rules for your children, but 1) they should be limited; 2) the least force necessary to enforce should be used and 3). parents should come in pairs.

Rule #7 reads "Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient).  Control your impulses.  Peterson believes success comes from delayed gratification.

Rule #9 reads "Assume the Person you are listening to might know something you don't."  Listening is how you learn things.  Peterson suggests you summarize what was said before you make your point.

Rule #10 reads "Be precise in your speech."  As he says "it is very difficult to make sense of the inter-connected chaos of reality just by looking at it.  We see enough to function.

In his justification for some of the rules he reminds me of the concerns about evolution  I read in "Super Cooperators" which gives many practical examples of how humans evolved to cooperate and organize out of chaos. http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2019/11/the-only-thing-that-will-redeem-mankind.html

He has some leftist sympathies, but seems basically conservative which fits in with his idea that the world we encounter is chaotic and we have evolved into a pragmatic organization in which inequality is inevitable if often unfair.  It is true that aggression is learned, but much of it is natural and the result of evolution and has served a purpose.

Do we really need rules?  I would say yes.  Do we need to think about them?  Habits can be good, but also bad, so we need to examine what we really want and how best to achieve our aims.  Many new titles are useful as much for reminders, but also bearing in mind there are often different ways to accomplish tasks and that a different perspective might hit us more effectively.  I prefer "guidelines"--other people have given great thought to their rules, but I have the option to choose, partly for comfort and partly for what is most appropriate for my talents and disposition.  I am grateful to all those covered in this post.

GET YOUR SH*T TOGETHER

Self improvement advice is easy to buy and some of it has set readers on a better path.  "get your SH*T" together" is perhaps written for a younger generation, but might be the nudge that an older reader might need.  The advice is not incompatible with much of what is available,  just the presentation is different.   This might be what you need, or it might just reinforce your other efforts.

What will get your attention on the cover is the use of profanity. There is a lot more swearing  (without astericks) on most pages.  In some ways it is colloquial and used by a wide range of classes and ages.  More educated people expect advice to be more refined, however those who understand the street language might be more responsive.  For the rest of us snobs the important goal might be to get our attention, but really we understand the language.

Profanity has been a part of my life from early days.  I suspect to some degree most people indulge in it, but don't feel comfortable in many situations.  Of course that is changing on all fronts.  I have a a nephew with his own business who talks in a similar manner to the author.  For several years I have worked in an ad agency and have been struck how their creativity is often expressed.  Profanity lends itself to creativity and much of their best ideas don't reach the drawing board.  My attitude in an earlier blog:  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2015/10/swearing-over-years.html

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, we can consider the advice.  Sarah sees that people, her readers, need to identify what they want and then uses three actions to obtain it: strategize, focus and commit, symbolized by key, phone and wallet.  A key is to prioritize and she boils the list of things you want to do down to the list of things you must do involving clarification of what is really important to you.  Then you strategize the best method forward, in small manageable chunks.  Focus refers to the necessity of setting aside enough time to accomplish.  Commitment means the determination to overcome all obstacles.

Her metaphors of key, phone and wallet are easily understood by today's generations, including a good chunk of baby boomers

Often negative thinking can be useful.  Sometimes it is easier to decide what you don't want than on what you do want.  An example might be you don't want to be fat.

She tackles such problems as saving money, managing time, clearing out emails, developing or discarding relationships and deciding on your priorities.

A few of her suggestions struck me as common sense, but ones we might need reminding on.

Ask what you have to do to get what you want.  Avoiding uncomfortable conversations delays resolution.  She gives a personal example of trying to deal with bulimia and finally asking her mom for help.  Maybe not surprisingly, her mother provided sympathy and also the necessary hard support.

Happiness is a goal in and of itself.  Happiness is different for each person  after you do what you must do then work towards what you want--after all that is what motivates you  Don't be self-righteous regarding recovered drug addicts, born agains, health food fanatics who love to tell everyone how much better they are now.  And they are better off.  You can be too and choose what you want in the end.

"Brevity is the soul of wit" borrowed from Shakespeare.

Perfectionism can prevent you from doing something else instead.

One of the superficial differences Sarah has with a favorite mentor of mine, Stephen R. Covey is to do with urgency.  With Sarah, urgent matters are put on her must do list.  Stephen spends a lot of time emphasizing how important it is to do important things so that you can over time minimize urgent but unimportant matters.  Nonetheless both advisors realize really urgent matters must be attended to.  If you don't take care of urgent matters the problems will get worse.  To learn more about Stephen R. Covey check: http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/07/stephen-r-covey-pointed-way.html

Acknowledgements are sometimes interesting and give their own insights.  While writing this book she and her husband had temporarily moved from their Caribbean home back to New York to finish up business.  Sarah acknowledges many friends and relatives helped provide accommodation and other support.  I should acknowledge that I became aware of this book by a Facebook posting of my sister Jennifer.  Of course there are lots of people who contribute to any book and she is gracious and humorous in her appreciation.

To get more provocative creative insights you can visit her website:  http://sarahknightbooks.com 

GEORGE LAKOFF SHOWS HOW TO FIGHT WORDS WITH BETTER WORDS.

Democrats are frustrated.  They believe the facts are on their side, but voters persist in giving power to the Republicans, even against their own economic self interest.  George Lakoff argues that facts and reasoning are not enough, but that there is a way to better understand how to influence voters.  Words count.

Reasoning is the main weapon of the Democrats, but they overlook the critical role of emotions.  The conscious reasoning process is already lagging behind the unconscious reflex process.  The unconscious mind is the base for much of our conscious decisions.  There is discussion of neural connections and how everything fits into established unconscious patterns.

Lakoff divides voters into two main camps--conservatives and progressives, but very definitely allowing that most people have a little bit of both tendencies.  There are words and images that tie to one "frame" and over a period of time can steer us in a direction.  If you listen you will notice that the Republicans use a well defined frame for their policies and criticisms.  Although no one is all conservative or all progressive in their thinking, we can be steered to accept views that are not totally compatible.

Conservatives are authoritarian and favour a strict father while progressives are more nurturing parents.  Discipline is admired as is loyalty by conservative.  An example is that when Bush pardoned Scooter Libby for taking the rap for disclosing a secret service employee (Valerie Plame) the conservatives admire the loyalty displayed.  Masculinity (including what I call machoism) is part of the same package.

A favorite word of conservatives is "entitlements" and they have even been able to get Democrats to use the term.  It infers that safety net items are luxuries that should not be taken for granted, instead of something voters help pay for.

A pet theme of conservatives is that regulations stifle business.  De-regulating is a stated goal of Republicans, but if you examine the issue what they really mean is the regulations that cut their ability to maximize profits.  A progressive view is that they are really protections.  Lakoff contends that if politicians always counter with the word "protection" voters would eventually realize they have a stake in the issue--their health, their financial security and their safety.  It really is a life and death issue, but Republicans have succeeded in picturing regulations as harmful.

Another beef he has is that conservatives are always wanting to privatize different functions on the premise that private business can do it more efficiently.  The problem from Lakoff's view is that the government has a mission to protect citizens while private businesses have profit as the highest priority.  These two goals are often in conflict.  One example of privatizing:  Black Water started by Erik Prince (brother to Betsy De Vos who wants to privatize education) contracts military services, but are not accountable.  It has changed ownership and names, but still active.

9-11 was initially termed a crime, but was soon converted to terrorism and the government adopted war powers putting Democrats on the defense.  Criticism was regarded as unpatriotic and many people suffered.

The Bad Apple defense is often used by conservatives.   A few underlings with little authority take the blame, not the organizers/designers.  One example was the Abu Ghraib torture scandal.  The big decisions were made at the presidential, cabinet minister level, but they were not punished.  Instead the focus was on low level employees.

Still another abused term is "Job Creators" who are pictured as the over taxed citizens who would start up factories, etc if they had the money when in fact no jobs are created without consumers spending money.  Usually poor people when given a little extra money are more likely to spend it than the rich who just gain a bigger cushion and the ability to better protect their greedy interests.

At the same time government jobs don't count.  Overlooking the fact that not only do their employees spend money, but they facilitate a wide range of market activities whether teachers, police, researchers, infrastructure workers or even bureaucrats.

Taxes are always bad and progressives are criticized as spendthrifts who take hard earned money from deserving people and waste it.  Expenditures should be seen as investments--facilitating and protecting.  Yes there is waste and government which is accountable to the voters must make efforts to control waste.

Metaphors are a critical tool we all use to make sense of things.  Republicans have mastered many of them.  Check http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2016/11/metaphors-are-more-pervasive-and.html

"The Righteous Mind" by Jonathan Haidt provides another perspective to my way of thinking.  It demonstrates some of the underlying differences that voters start with.  He is sympathetic to conservatives, but I think explains their base. http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2013/02/the-righteous-mind.html

Paraphrasing Bill Clinton, "As we all become more interdependent we are more inclined to look for win-win solutions instead of win-lose."  It reminds me of  Stephen R Covey and the fear Republicans spout about dependency.   http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/09/dependency-new-hot-topic.html

Deregulation and privatizing mark a shift from a government with accountability to the public to a government (private business) without accountability to the public--from a government with a moral mission to a government with a mission of maximizing profit.

I

2012 IN HINDSIGHT

I already published my resolutions for the future, but perhaps it would have been wiser to reflect on what happened in the past year beforehand.   A Filly's Best Friend has inspired me to take a look.  If you are involved with horses you will enjoy her blog. http://fillysbestfriend.blogspot.ca

2012 was not all good for sure.  I lost sales opportunities and do recognize if I had somehow been smarter or harder working it might not have been as severe.  As I often used to say when going on a sales call if I didn't actually get a sale I did get an education.  Lots of education was gained and some of it will be put to better use in 2013.

One of the projects I worked on for over ten years ran into some problems.  The Burlington Eagles have been putting out an annual magazine for 11 years with me as the main sales rep all that time.  Part of their problem is that it is run by volunteers and this year they ran into all sorts of difficulties and the magazine kept getting postponed.

Great Saves was truly a great idea offered to me, but required greater team effort to get over the hump.  It was a new way of fund raising for minor sports clubs where anyone could buy bargains with part of the proceeds going to the clubs.  Trying to line up clubs, buyers and sellers, a true chicken and egg dilemma proved to be too difficult.

My Uncle Cameron Stewart died in November.  Funerals bring out mixed emotions.  It is sad that someone has died, but it reminds us of pleasant memories and brings relatives closer together.  It can also help you appreciate life a little more.  You can read some of my memories at http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/11/my-uncle-cam.html

A lot of famous people died including Stephen R Covey, a man I admire.  My memories of him are here  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/07/stephen-r-covey-pointed-way.html

Looking ahead it is a good idea to remember the many good things that also happened in the past year.

The Rider, http://www.therider.com  improved its share of a market made difficult by the economy.  Barry Finn, the owner made some serious steps into online publication by buying two websites, Equine Niagara News, http://www.equineniagaranews.com/ and Barnmice,  www.barnmice.com/ as well as getting more involved with social media.  The Rider's involvement has been one of the driving forces behind my own increased activities with Facebook, Twitter, a newsletter and blogging.  Most of my efforts will still be concentrated on the newspaper, but not only will it have greater awareness, I also will get the odd chance to sell online.  Although I really have no horse background I really appreciate the perks.  Number one perk is watching horses which I get to do at various horse shows.  Perhaps the biggest perk was going with my wife to see Cavalia Odysseo--my most popular blog post  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/05/cavalia-odysseo.html

The Eagles started a new website and I have a chance to sell ads on line.  With a more exciting layout it should be increasing traffic.  The Eagles also had another record breaking food drive by pooling their resources with some other groups they brought in a little over 114,000 pounds of food (that is not a misprint).  Proud to have played a very small role in that effort.  http://www.burlingtoneagles.com

Another good year of reading good books which I summarized at http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/12/books-i-enjoyed-in-2012.html

Getting more and more into movies and for 2012 here is what I remember http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/12/favorite-movies-of-2012.html

For the first time Sharon and I attended the Art Gallery of Hamilton film festival.  Really only took in the trailers preview and one of my favorites of the year "The Intouchables".  Looking forward to getting more involved this year.  Sharon kept up a tradition of going to a TIFF presentation with some of her girl friends.

I made it to most of the Art Crawls on nearby James St north in Hamilton.  Near mid year I wrote a blog post about the evolving art crawl which you can read at http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/05/hamiltons-art-crawl-evolving.html The Supercrawl was better than ever with lots of art and musical entertainment.  I included lots of photos in my newsletters.

Attended two book readings.  Robert J Sawyer spoke at the Hamilton Library with some more details at http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/04/memories-of-robert-j-sawyer.htmlwhere the title plays on his theme.  John Lawrence Reynolds who I met through work spoke during an Art Crawl event and I bought his book (which is mentioned in book blog).

Another of the pleasurable arts I enjoy is eating at restaurants and I was fortunate not only on my trips, but locally and would like to mention a few.  Rayhoon Persian Eatery, Nonna's Ristorante and Thai Avenue in Burlington were enjoyable. Acclamation, Mex I Can, Wild Orchid, Earth to Table, Spice Avenue and Sarcoa in Hamilton.  I had one experience that I won't mention, but pretty good odds.  I also have to add I am very lucky as my wife is well recognized as a great cook (and baker).

Combining two pleasures I selected the Burlington Library choice for Burlington Reads, "The Beauty of Humanity Movement" and it inspired me to visit a nearby restaurant, Thai Avenue.  You can read about it here at my second most popular blog post.  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/07/beauty-of-humanity-movement-book-review.html

Unlike my world traveling son, I don't really get around much.  Past vacations have been built around my kids choice of schools (Halifax and Victoria for a bi coastal experience) or my travels selling through Ontario, Quebec and the Maritimes.  Sharon and I have discovered Cuba and find it a great value.  We have had such good experiences at Arenas Dorado in Veradero that this past year was our third visit.   One of the unexpected highlights was a wedding on the beach and although we didn't know the bride and groom (or even speak their language)  it was enjoyable. More details at http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/03/cuban-memories-2012.htmlOur fourth visit later this year may be the last as we are looking further afield.

I am lucky where I work, OKD Marketing as the owners treat their employees as people to nurture and reward.  The staff was taken on a 3 day trip to New York.  In many ways New York is like the capital of the world, but I only knew about it through the media.  Some highlights included Central Park, Times Square, Macy's Brazilian display, the Top of the Rock, Ellis Island and restaurants.  It is great to socialize with those you work with. You can read my take on it and see some photos at  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/04/short-trip-to-new-york.html

In the fall it has become a ritual to visit the Hamilton Mum show and this year had a very colorful show.  Also in the fall I take part in the Superwalk to support the Parkinson's Society.  Wish I could say I raised a lot of money, but I do keep at it.

Michael, my son was not able to overcome immigration restrictions in England and ended up trying his luck in New Zealand.  He had no job, just a friend of a friend, some research and a lot of confidence.  By making calls on various schools he fairly quickly got a temporary teaching job.  It worked out so well that he will start the new year (and January is a new school year in New Zealand) with a more permanent job.  As I write this he is actually visiting in Taiwan adding to his global awareness.

Heather, my daughter endured a few changes during the year with her main job location changing, but at the end she got a boost getting a part time job that fits in with her existing job situation.  As some of you may know Heather is the heart of #TeamHamOnt on twitter.  Through that she has been a strong booster of Hamilton. Just before the holidays she organized a fund raiser involving food trucks and #TeamHamOnt.

I was pleased that Obama won the American election, but I have become more disillusioned with politics.  Big money, special interests and fanatics have disproportionate power over everyone else including Obama.

102 blogs helped keep me out of some mischief.  I dug up a lot of good memories and gave myself the opportunity to spout off a bit.  Books, travel, movies, horses, events, selling, family tree research, politics and other interesting things.  Look forward to doing better this year.

I try to learn something new each day.  One of my focal points is organization.  From the CBC Fresh Air website I picked up a video that instructs a better way to fold socks.  Of course there is work involved, but it makes it easier to fill your drawer and as the work is front loaded, when you are in a hurry you will can take off much faster.  You can learn too,  How to Fold Socks - YouTube

Weddings are one of my favorite forms of entertainment and this year our good friends Mike and Karen Bromilow's daughter Leanna got married to John.  It was a very well catered affair, with a touching ceremony, a lovely bride (with matching groom), a few laughs, good talks with friends, lots of dancing--what else could you want?  Looking forward to David and Krista's wedding on June 1st.

We had an unusual New Years Eve this year.  Usually there are about 6-8 of us regulars, eating, drinking and talking.  This year we hosted 16 people.  One, Josie came up from South Carolina to see her mother and joined us.  The more the merrier.  I am still eating the leftovers, but they are excellent.

Looking back on my resolutions last year I had a few successes, but not across the board.  I think I can honestly say I made progress and have decided to move forward.  Resolutions should help you improve a challenge and build on your strengths.

PHOTOS:  Top one is from the Supercrawl and I felt very lucky to get such a spectacular shot that I  hoped would get your attention.
Next down, the happy couple on Veradero Beach is Sharon and myself.
One of the flowers at the Mum show.
Peggy, Roberta, Susan, Rob and Rob at New Years' Eve party.
Florence, Sharon, Hank and Debbie.
Josie with her sister Barb and friend Debbie.

DEPENDENCY A NEW HOT TOPIC

Mitt Romney is in the news for some candid comments made on a video.  He is not alone in his thinking and it is good that a touchy topic is out in the open.  This post is reflecting on the insinuation that too many Americans are becoming too dependent.  They supposedly expect all their needs to be met by government and do not take responsibility for their situation.

Stephen R Covey had an interesting thought about dependency.  We are all totally dependent when we are first born--we will literally die if we are not provided with food and shelter.  As we grow we gradually achieve greater amounts of independence.  But in truth even before "civilization" we have always lived in an interdependent world--increasingly so to-day.

While on Stephen R Covey, his first habit of highly successful people is to be pro active.  That is, not to wait for other people to do things, but to initiate action yourself.  It is not healthy to always be waiting for someone else to do something.  I agree with that and try to be more pro active.

Unfortunately many of us, a lot of the time are counting on someone else to make our situation better. It takes all sorts of people to make this world work.  Some to give orders and others to fulfill them. Some to make their suggestions to make things a little better.  Some to question the order.

One illustration of inter-dependence is driving.  Very few of us really understand the workings of a motorized vehicle, but we have discovered driving is a practical way to get from one point to another point and can be enjoyable all by itself.  When large numbers of us decide to get from our own specific point to another specific point  there is a danger of colliding and certainly of getting in each others' ways.  We have developed a system of rules and facilities that help us reach our destinations over 99% of the time. When you are driving in heavy traffic you are assuming that other cars will stay in their lanes and maintain speed.  As long as the other vehicles on the road do what is expected there need be no problems.

Of course there are drivers who are a little careless or even reckless.  In some cases they may be penalized by legal authorities (ultimately authorized by us).  And of course "accidents" do happen and we have developed systems of dealing with them involving repairs to bodies, vehicles and other property that gets in the way.

We have developed a life style that involves going to work, working, living in some sort of housing, taking care of our basic needs, raising a family and if we are smart (pro active) saving up for retirement and emergencies.  We also live in a world that is precariously balanced with the need to sell things so everyone can have a job.  We are now more sophisticated and have access to a basic financial tool known as credit.  Just as in traffic, there are people who have little concern for our safety or if we reach our destination and will manipulate the system to their own advantage.  Fairly regularly they miscalculate and everyone suffers.  People cannot pay their bills and that leads to job loss and that leads to more people not paying their bills.

Admittedly that is over simplified.  We also live in a world where those who control the levers can decide to lower their costs by such things as outsourcing or using more sophisticated machines. Robotics are not going to go away (at least not unless our civilization collapses).

We are in cyclical and structural transitions which we should be able to see taking a long view. However many of those with the levers (and truthfully most of us altogether) take a short term view. I think there will be a global jobs "problem," but it could also be seen as an opportunity.  Work has always been for most people a purpose in life. You make something or do something that makes other people better off and are rewarded.  If you are aggressive and/or innovative you can prosper even as others find expected opportunities closed to them.

The government doesn't have to be seen as the boss who decides everything and does us favors if we know our place.  The government which is really us, can be a facilitator making sure everyone has an opportunity to be useful, not just for their individual benefit, but for benefit of everyone.

Mitt Romney has found a way to make a huge amount of money by manipulating money within the rules of the game.  I am sure many people have benefited from his efforts and perhaps he deserves a high standard of living and to have people seek his advice.  Most of the rest of us are not as talented at moving money around, but almost everyone wants to be useful.

Typical of powerful people Mitt didn't feel the need to get all the facts lined up.  He confused how many people who don't pay federal income tax with how many people are getting government handouts, with how many people voted for his opponent.  These things don't correlate as closely as he seemed to assume.  Many of the households not paying income tax are combat military personnel, retired people, and people who work near the minimum wage and many of them actually voted for his party.  Overlooking the fact that he doesn't do any manual labor, hasn't invented anything, actually described himself as unemployed and yet on his millions pays only 13% tax (mainly due to government rules that his colleagues helped set up).

Why are so many people not making enough to pay income taxes?  Rules set up by those in power to maximize their profits have certainly played a role.

The world is undergoing a major structural change, one outcome of which will be that there will be much less need of physical labor.  Jean Chretien, former Canadian Prime Minister once said that "there is dignity in work."  What will we do when there is not so much work to pass around?

Do some people have to live meaningless lives while others burn out in the pursuit of survival and others can stroll through life?  Can we find value in things besides physical labor?  Can life be made more enjoyable for all of us?  Could more people ascend Maslow's hierarchy?

Nobody has all the answers, but a few thoughts to ponder.  If we on average worked less hours could the work not be spread around?  If the ideal goal of a life is to enjoy it can we not each benefit from learning how to do so and can this process not provide opportunities for others to teach?  Can the teachers not also learn?  We are overwhelmed with information which needs to dealt with for optimal benefit.

Can we count on a government to help us make the transition to the future?  Or are we going to see who can survive the David and Goliath struggle that will hurt everyone?  We are dependent on each other and the sooner we understand that the easier it will be to help each other.

I BUILT IT ALL BY MYSELF! NOT

The title of this post reminds me of a youngster (could have been me) who has built something from play toys and is proud of him or her self.  In truth we should encourage him or her to be ambitious and continue to mature their skills.  But we know a lot had to happen before that youngster was able to build that construction and a lot more will happen before they contribute to society.

The mockery of what Obama actually said astounds me.   The ignorance and arrogance of many is amazing, but what really scares me is the willingness of others who know better to exploit a supposed gaffe that was actually truthful.  A distortion is not much different than a lie.  The meaning of something has to include the context or we are not better than smart ass bullies.

Stephen R Covey, a Mormon has my respect for emphasizing that the world is inter-dependent.  We are LUCKY to live in a western civilization that has optimized our inter dependence, at least more than in previous times.  We don't have to do what our parents did, we are relatively free to pursue our own path and fit into society in our own way.

It is the height of arrogance and ignorance to think that anyone achieved anything all by themselves. Obama was not trying to take away credit for the striving and efforts of people who have achieved success.  He was trying to restore a little balance.  Since then the opposition has put up a lineup of people who have done it on their own.  But none them has; they all got some boost from government.

It is far more basic than that.  For someone to succeed they have to sell something to someone who buys.  It might be a product, a service or an idea, but if nobody has the resources or inclination to buy whatever, it was stays on the shelf.  We have to survive a stage of helplessness until we reach a point of fending for ourselves and truly we never really reach that stage, else there would be no need for police or armies.  Somehow we must learn the ways of the world both formally and informally.

Communication and transportation, a legal system, a workable currency, a base of potential customers are the necessary foundation of every business.  Some of us benefit more than others from this foundation or you might say are able to exploit their resources more effectively.

There is a great need for balance.  It takes all sorts of people to make our society work.  Thank goodness there are ambitious people with talent, willing to work hard to get what they want.  They get what they want by satisfying desires of other people.  Thank goodness there are people willing to do the grubby work.  Thank goodness there are people willing to encourage us and teach the ways of the world.  Other people do whatever is left.  Some of us have big egos and resent anyone telling us what to do, but others are willing to fit in wherever they can.  We can all point to people who take, but don't give anything back, some are considered successful and others considered bums.  Teachers are often depicted as ones who couldn't get a real job, but they are key drivers of progress:  http://www.therealjohndavidson.com/2012/11/what-teachers-make-by-taylor-mali.html

When those who have money are not willing to share, to help others follow their path, to help those who were not as lucky or talented as they were the whole society starts to decline.  We are disgusted with despotic rulers in the current and ancient world and realize we are much more fortunate.   The problem starts with someone leveraging their power at the expense of others.

Do some people deserve special status because they take risks? Maybe, but in fact the government has reduced the risk in many ways.  One thing many of us overlook is the designation "Ltd." which really means the risk is limited to the amount invested whereas before there was no limit. Bankruptcy rules protect not only consumers, but also companies.  Then there is the so called safety net.  What happens when reasonable risks don't work out?

There is a need to respect individual talent, ambition and hard work.  There is also a need to realize that we are inter-dependent.  I recognize that some people think they pay too much in taxes and some of them might be right.  I realize that regulation and bureaucracy can be wasteful and crush initiative. But we have to acknowledge that some people became successful by abusing others and actually kept some deserving people from getting a decent opportunity.  If you think about it there are a few very dangerous people who are trying to take advantage of the rest of us--who is going to protect us?   Most important let us not distort the meaning of the message-- what Obama actually said is very fundamental to making decisions that affect everyone and I think the key to our future.  Reject it or misunderstand it and I think we are headed for anarchy.   And no I do not think that is too strong a description.

Stephen R Covey pointed the way

I am not the best example of a Stephen R. Covey student, but he provided a good model.  I have read several of  his books and listened to many of his tapes many times.  I think a lot of people were similar to myself in that we wanted to follow his path, but just somehow didn't quite make it.  Still I know I am better off for the effort and haven't yet given up.   His death this past week has made me want to review what he had taught me.  He left a legacy to benefit anyone who cares to make an effort to understand.


"The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" is one path to being more effective.  Based on studying the characteristics and habits of people who got things done.  Habits are the key.  We all have them, but they aren't necessarily the healthiest of habits.

Running down the seven habits helps focus on how we could all get more out of life.

The first habit is to be pro active.  Most of us react to whatever happens to us.  We blame others if things don't work out.  Covey feels you must make the decisions that affect you as much as possible and take responsibility for your actions.

The second habit is to begin with the end in mind.  What this boils down to is to have a purpose in life with goals that are important to you.  Most of us don't think about whether we have a mission in life or how we would like to be remembered.  Covey highly recommends you give a lot of thought to what you want to have accomplished by the end of your life.  That should be reflected in everything you do.

The third habit is an outgrowth of the second.  As much as possible you should always  be doing something towards what you have identified as important to you.  Instead we spend much of our time dealing with problems that demand immediate attention or on things that really don't matter.   Thinking this out (and I do try to do this each week)  you should work towards your goals and when you are not able to do anything towards the most important one think of your next most important goal or think of some small step towards your highest priorities.  I was surprised to realize that this doesn't require frantic activity 24 hours a day as Covey recognized that rest and regenerating yourself were just as critical as any task.  If a matter is really urgent you cannot ignore it, but if you carve out more and more time for the really important you will need to spend less time on the urgent and the trivial.

Moving to the fourth habit comes a recognition that to get things done we have to deal with other people who have their own set of priorities.  Whenever you feel you need to get something from another person you need to think what they could get out of helping you.  Win-win is the goal.   If one of you loses, even yourself the exchange is not in the long run successful.

The fifth habit is a very key one.  We all want to be understood, feeling that if the other person understood you they would give you what you want and deserve.  We are so wrapped up in this that we make little if any effort to understand their viewpoint.  Stephen urges, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."  Encourage the other person to express their concerns and don't interrupt except to express understanding or encourage them to continue.  When you understand them it makes it much easier to move forward.  It is important to be understood, but much easier for them when they feel they are understood.

The sixth habit is to synergize.  Working as a team we can accomplish a whole lot more than doing it ourselves.  The whole really is greater than the sum of its parts.

The seventh habit is to "sharpen the saw."  Stephen uses this metaphor to point out that we need to have balance in our lives and need to renew our skills.

One basic idea of being more effective is to realize we live in an interdependent world.  I have paraphrased his thought that when we are born we are totally dependent on others to survive.  As we grow we gradually become more and more independent.  Full growth occurs when we realize we have always been inter-dependent.

That idea seems very relevant with the political campaigns ranting about the issue.  There is a strong streak in America (and to a lesser extent elsewhere as well) that the strong self made man is the ideal, the model for the rest of us.  It is a self serving delusion of some successful people.  One candidate talks about unleashing business and that any restrictions are very harmful.

Another candidate seems to feel that we can get more done if we work together.  Many people feel that restrictions (ie. regulations) do more harm than good.  Some people feel that we shouldn't hold back the strong people in any way and that those who aren't strong should not be allowed to mooch off the successful.

I am from the school that believes nobody got to where they are by themselves.  Obviously it helps to have parents that passed on strong genes and healthy nurturing.  It helps that schools (formal learning facilities) allowed you to develop knowledge and skills and perhaps stirred your imagination to see new solutions to old problems.  It helps that many people combine their efforts to provide easy means for you to communicate and get around.  For most of us we live in a relatively safe environment that lets us grow stronger.  Today it can be helpful that we are much more conscious of and can take advantage of global interaction.  At bottom is the need for someone to buy what you are selling.  We are all selling something and many of are paid off with salaries, commissions, rents, etc.  Some of us are selling ideas and they need believers.

There will be many people praising the contributions of Stephen R Covey.  I just wanted to add that even a relatively unsuccessful blogger is better off for having read and listened to Stephen R Covey and  firmly believe the world would be better off if more people followed his teachings.